Sunday, 7 April 2013

Lunch and the Dead Sea

Here is the view from my lunch table on Saturday, of the former Royal Yacht Britannia.

And as I wandered around after lunch while my ladies shopped I was sure that the slim and beautiful young mini-skirted lady with the East European accent who had been approaching young people would not bother with me... but no, she beckoned me towards her and leaning her head very close to mine she said, "We need to talk."

Really? I thought, pondering her interesting approach and that perhaps she thought I was a susceptible old chap who could easily be separated from my money by her charms, and they were considerable charms.

"Really?" I said, echoing my thought.

"Yes really," she assured me, before continuing in her lovely rich accent with, "Have you ever been to the Dead Sea?"

"Eh... no..."

"Well do not ever bother now, because I have brought it here for you."

My God though that voice and smiling face was a very alluring package, I thought, while also thinking, Ah... she is selling some slippery concoction of mineral salts to slap on my skin.

By now she had grabbed my hand in hers and was saying, "Here, give me your hand." And while I was rather enjoying my hand being in hers I saw the tube of cream approaching in her other hand.

"Oh... your skin is rather dry," she declared.

What a surprise.

Reluctantly, I decided things had gone far enough, and pulled my dry hand away.

"I'm sorry. No thanks," I said, astonished that I was actually apologising for disappointing a gorgeous young East European girl by pulling my hand out of her hand.

And as I walked away she smiled and said, "Ah well. You have a very nice day."


And later I looked down on her from the balcony above, and saw a man of about the same age as myself offering her his credit card.

Mr Mug, I thought, or perhaps those Dead Sea salts in gloopy cream really are great for old dry skin.


  1. Ah, the old dry skin trick! The eating area at the Leith shopping centre with those huge windows overlooking the water is brilliant isn't it?

  2. Another fiction story?

    Beautiful photos!

  3. And her friends/relatives are in the shopping centres here. And the products they sell seem good (based on a free trial)- but very expensive. And at least she was courteous enough to wish you a nice day even when you didn't purchase the product.

  4. You see the world .... and the charms of a young beauty.

    I see my your life on my monitor.

    Something is not right with the world .... or is it simply with my world?

  5. All of the beauty is only a free bus trip away from you Calum.

    There soon won't be much of the Dead Sea left then EC, if it is being rubbed into the dry hands of the world :)

    Fiction Claude? This is my sad and sorry real life (although of course so are my occasional adventures with Aileen, as you know).

    It is indeed a great place to visit Craig, for the view, a coffee or a meal and a walk outside along the balcony, but in all the many times I have been there I don't think I've ever bought anything from a shop, or from a beautiful young lady either. I'm quite proud of that. But EC's talk of "free samples" in her comment above make me wonder if I have missed an opportunity.

  6. Or, thinking about her comment, perhaps Claude meant it was an opportunity to let my imagination pick up that little beginning and run with it...

    Hmm... But I fear I may run to places even more ridiculously difficult to believe than where I have run to with Aileen.

  7. That's what I was thinking!

  8. Ah Claude... my imagination is already having much improbable fun :) I suppose if I were to introduce the young beauty to Aileen then she may take an interest in me (and Aileen does have very dry skin... dry, leathery, lizardy... a whole new market for Dead Sea salts just a little dimension slip away...)