Wednesday, 6 February 2013

Report on Sample 717 Continued (Part 7)

And concluded, for now... following on from here:

Just after midnight they were back outside the vehicle compound again, surveying the fence.

'Looks easy enough,' whispered Adrig. 'Me first.'

And soon he was up and over and standing on the other side encouraging Edrig to take his turn.

Just as Edrig began to climb upwards, however, the door of the brick building opened and the young man in the doorway shouted out, 'What are you two up to then? The police are on the way!'

'Damn,' said Adrig, although still quite calm. 'Come on lad. Up and over and we'll get him stunned and in the pod and we'll be away long before any police arrive. Come on!'

That was when, astride the top of the fence, Edrig slipped and a protruding fence-post top slipped up his trouser leg and ripped through the fabric.

'Come on lad!'

'I can't! I'm stuck.'

'What do you mean?'

'I can't seem to get my leg up and over.'

'Just rip through the trouser leg then.'

'I can't'

'Well take the trousers off. Undo the waist and leave them behind. Come on!'

The young man from the building had initially approached, but on hearing the strange and high pitched squeals emanating from Adrig and Edrig he had hesitated, then returned to the safety of the building.

Edrig spent some more time trying to free himself, and then eventually unbuttoned and unzipped the trousers and tried to remove them as Adrig had commanded.

'I can't seem to get them over the shoes though.'

'Well take the shoes off too.'

'I can't reach.'

'Well hang on I'll take the shoes off for you.'

So Adrig began to try to untie the shoe laces, but he found it difficult.

'For goodness sake,' Adrig called out, 'How have you tied them? You've got them in knots. Do you not even know how to tie your shoelaces boy?'

'Well they are not like our ones are they?'

'No. But for goodness sake. Oh... I'm just going to pull them off.'

And that was when, surprisingly quickly, the police car arrived and the same policeman and policewoman as Edrig had encountered before jumped out of the car and ran up to them, just as Edrig was able to free himself and jump down to stand on the inside of the fence with his trousers still hanging on top of the fence and both his shoes discarded by his side.

'Oh look,' the policeman said to the policewoman – the pretty young policewoman, 'It's the man from another planet. The sergeant told us all about you. Is your pal here from another planet too?'

'Yes he is actually,' Edrig confirmed, while feeling rather silly and vulnerable standing there with no trousers or shoes on.

'So what are you up to now?' the policeman asked with a tired and resigned tone.

Edrig whispered to Adrig, 'Get the stunner ready,' in his own language, which just sounded like a brief squeak to the police officers. And as he spoke he managed to retrieve his torn trousers from the fence and pull them on.

'That van over there,' Edrig continued, while turning his attention to replacing his shoes. 'It can transport you to another world. Would you like to come?'

'Oh... That van? The one we found with a false registration and no insurance. Yes, I'd love to go to another world with you in it. Ha ha.'

While this exchange was underway the young man from the brick building had approached the gathering and opened the gates for the police officers, who then walked in to stand beside Edrig and Adrig.

'They probably have protective vests on,' Edrig squeaked to Adrig. 'Go for the legs and groins.'

'Eh? What did you say?' asked the policeman.

'Nothing, just a tickle in my throat. My voice problems,' continued Edrig. Come over to the van, well... to our transportation pod, and I'll show you how it works.'

'Ha ha!' laughed the policeman, while his lovely lady companion also smiled. 'This I cannot wait to see.'

And so the five of them wandered over to the van, just as, conveniently, the young man's office phone began to ring out and so he ran off to the building to answer it.

'Now!' screeched Edrig, as they reached the van, and so Adrig pulled out his stunner and let both police officers have it in the legs, full blast.

The effect of the leg hit, however, was not quite what they desired. Both the policeman and policewoman collapsed, instantly paralysed, but they remained conscious and able to speak.

'What the heck was that!' shouted the helpless man.

'Call for help!' screeched the woman. But both were unable to do so.

'Get them in!' shouted Edrig while Adrig passed his palm across the hatch, which duly opened for him.

There then followed a considerable commotion, as Adrig and Edrig tried to lift and push the policeman through the hatch, but realised that his thick tunic made it impossible. And so they struggled to remove the tunics from both police officers while the officers screamed and shouted their objections, but remained completely unable to do anything about them.

At this point the young man from the building came running, but a blast from Adrig's stunner soon reduced him to a motionless heap on the ground.

'Stun them again now!' Edrig shouted, once the police officers' tunics and protective vests had been removed.

Adrig complied with this advice, rendering both officers unconscious instantly, and so with much huffing and heaving Adrig and Edrig eventually managed to get both of their captives and themselves inside the pod, strapped in and ready to go.

With the hatch shut they took the time to settle themselves.

'Isn't she lovely,' Edrig murmured, while manoeuvring the lady officer a little, and brushing her long blonde hair back around her ears.

'Yes she is my lad,' Adrig agreed, 'but not much use to our Lady Lord, but... that won't matter, we have got him,' and he nodded at the policeman before adding, 'and he looks like a very fine and fit footballer to me, and I have the very thing to ensure that he can perform for us.'

'You do? What?'

Adrig pulled a small strip of blue tablets from his pocket and explained.

'Viagra. While I was waiting on you I was offered it by a man in a pub near the hotel. Ten tablets. Have you heard of it?'


'It's their equivalent of testosterjuice my boy. Once we offer this chap his options, plus these tablets, I am pretty sure we will get his cooperation when we get home.'

'Oh. OK, well let's go then.'

And at that, Adrig reached up and pressed the flashing green Auto Return button.

And soon they were unconscious, spinning home...

But when they regained consciousness Adrig and Edrig found themselves restrained by handcuffs.

The young and fit police officers had come back to awareness before them and had reacted to the strange situation in the only way that had seemed appropriate to them, using the handcuffs that were still fastened to their waistbands.

'You are not going to get anywhere with that, my friend,' Edrig informed the policeman as he watched him trying to use his radio to call for assistance. 'You are on another planet.'

'Yeah right,' replied the policeman with a combination of sarcasm and considerable annoyance. 'Do you realise how much trouble you are in?'

Edrig smiled, and said calmly, 'Do you realise how much trouble you are in my friend? You are on another planet.'

The policewoman was silent, just watching rather wide-eyed.

Ah, the lovely policewoman, thought Edrig.

And at that point Adrig nodded towards the screen and said, 'Look, there's Macrig, I'll get him to show these two the view out of his window and then we can get them to unlock these handcuffs and we can have a sensible discussion about our plans.'

And soon the hatch was opening and Macrig was peering in and asking what was going on.

'Take these two outside and show them the view from the window,' Adrig requested.

The police officers turned rather white as soon as they looked outside of the pod and realised that wherever they were they were no longer in the vehicle compound in Perth.

They meekly allowed Macrig, in his long blue engineering robes, to ease them from the pod and lead them over to his window, where they stood looking out at the tops of the green clouds beneath a sky of purple illuminated by a bright white star.

'My god!' the policewoman gasped.

'What the...?' managed the policeman, before he slumped to the ground.

The policewoman remained conscious and calm, much to Edrig's admiration.

'You really are from another planet?' she whispered, looking back towards Edrig who was trying to work his way through the hatch while still restrained by the handcuffs.

'Yes my Lady,' said Edrig, feeling it was appropriate to be deferential to her even though she was really his captive now. 'And look how more capable you are at absorbing that news than your floppy colleague on the ground. The ladies really are a superior gender in all respects, I have to admit... and especially when they look as lovely as you.'

Macrig looked disapprovingly at Edrig, while the policewoman looked puzzled.

'Am I in danger?' she asked, quietly.

'No,' Edrig assured her, 'you are not in danger. Not if you do as we ask. And you'll be able to go home soon.'

'I need to sit down,' she said. 'I do feel a little faint now.'

And so Macrig led her over to a soft seat and she sat down and then ran her slim fingers through her hair to push it back from her face.

I could love her, thought Edrig, as he watched, and then indicated that she should release him from the handcuffs, which she duly did.

And some time later, Adrig took charge of the issue of the policeman, and the duties that were required from him.

'I am sorry, but if you want to get home you need to do something for us, and you need to do it well.'


Adrig took out the capsules of Viagra and offered the policeman two of them.

'Swallow these, wait a while, and then we will take you downstairs to satisfy our Lady Lord. Oh, and you will need to tell her that you are a footballer.'

'What? Your Lady Lord? A footballer?'

'Yes. She is expecting a footballer and things may not go well for any of us if she doesn't think she has got one. She is not much of a looker, I'm sorry, but it is what we need you to do, and look at this amazing adventure you are having? Consider the positives. Is it not wonderful for you to be realising how much more there is to this universe than you ever thought, and to be experiencing these things that hardly anyone else from your world has been able to?'

'It is certainly amazing,' the policeman conceded, while looking down at the pills that were now in his hand.

'And you could have the chance to return here again, I suppose, if you wished. Just think of the opportunity. Swallow these pills and satisfy our Lady Lord like a good lad eh? You may even manage to enjoy it.'

'I think three might be better than two,' Edrig offered.

'No. Too dangerous,' said Adrig, 'but two, and a good imagination, should be enough. She is clean,' he continued, to reassure the policeman, 'but rather big... and muscley.'

'And ugly,' Edrig added.

'You are not helping!' Adrig screeched at Edrig in his own language. 'We need this to work! Just think of it my boy. If he can just be persuaded to satisfy the Lady Lord we could make many trips back, to the pole dancing ladies, and maybe even for more than that... just think of it! Imagine it! Those lovely slim ladies.'

'Sorry,' said Edrig, while the policeman shrugged his shoulders and swallowed the tablets with a drink of the water he had been offered.

'And me?' the lovely policewoman said nervously

'You?' responded Edrig. 'You? Ah...'

He thought deeply for a while.

'You...' he eventually continued, 'You do not need to do anything.' And he turned and found that Adrig was nodding his head slowly, but rather regretfully, it seemed.

And then Edrig looked back at the beautiful lady from Sample 717 and smiled at her, while she managed to smile weakly back at him.

'Let's just hope he manages to do what is necessary,' Adrig muttered as he beckoned the policeman to follow him.

'I am sure he will,' declared his pretty young colleague confidently. 'He's got a reputation for not being very fussy.'

'Oh good,' said Edrig.

And they both chuckled.

[The Report on Sample 717 may or may not be continued]


  1. A very enjoyable read.

    I just hope the Lady Lord releases him...

  2. Very interesting! I'm sure the policeman will not want to return to Earth. He'll settle with the Lady Lord, and live happily ever after.

  3. I'm not so sure of that at all Claude... Those Lady Lords are something else (in my wild imagination, at least :)