Saturday, 15 December 2012

Report on Sample 717 (Part 2)

Following on from Part 1:

'How can they get everything so wrong at the same time as getting so many things so right?' Edrig asked himself out loud as he watched the images of humanity that were floating in the space before him in his dark room at the top of a high tower that penetrated through green clouds and into a sky of purple illuminated by a bright white star.

'They know about wave-particle duality. They understand the four fundamental forces of their little compartment, even though they have not got a proper unification of electromagnetism and gravity yet... but never mind... they can pretty much comprehend what's happening as the energy disperses and the chemistry proceeds and sustains the framework of their simple minds... But...the emergence of something from nothing? Come on! And the resolution of the fine-tuning of the universe issue by the invention of a near infinity of parallel and ever-diverging worlds! Oh deary, deary me...'

And he laughed out loud as he watched a human in a wheelchair using a synthetic voice to declare, '…and when we know that then, as I said so famously long ago, we will know the mind of God.'

'Ha, ha, bleedin' ha,' pronounced Edrig... Well, translated from his language of squeaks and squawks that is pretty much what he pronounced.

'Ha, ha, bleedin' ha, you silly man! You will still know nothing! Nothing about anything other than your own little place. Good heavens! You can't even see how small it is, and how young! 13.5 billion years eh? Ah, the power of illusion. Redshift! What a good trick! Just don't make me laugh. Well yes, make me laugh! I am enjoying this.'

At which point Adrig returned, sweeping in dressed in his flowing white teaching gown with a steaming cupful of decannabinized testorterjuice in his hand.

'I hear you laughing,' Adrig said with a thin smile. 'It's hard not to, isn't it?'

Instead of responding to that point Edrig looked sternly at Adrig and scolded him with, 'You may be my superior but you really should lay off the testosterjuice old man.'

'But it's decannabinized!' Adrig protested.

'I know it is, but it's not detestosterified, is it? Don't you think you have had enough children already?'

'Ach leave me alone Edrig, I need my pleasures… I want to be ready if I am lucky enough to be chosen by one of the younger ones down there… I do need my pleasures, though maybe not the kids. That's one thing they've got sorted there on 717.'

'What is?'



'Yup. Many of the ladies take a pill, or allow their men to use a synthetic sort of sheathy thing that captures the little bleeders before they can get even a sniff of an egg.'

'What? So they can play at making kids without making kids?'

'Yup... Our women would never agree to any of that would they? They always want the kids. The domineering big bloody bast....'

'Shhhhhh!' Edrig admonished sternly. 'They'll hear you! And remember... it's only twenty years since it became illegal for them to cook and eat bits of us after sex.'

'I know. And it still goes on you know.'

'I know.' And they both shuddered.

'But the slow fight continues,' Adrig declared, 'And we will be liberated, one day.'

'One day,' Edrig agreed, wistfully.

Then prompted by the sudden increase in volume from the virtual display, they both turned to look rather longingly at the images of a seething human nightclub that now happened to be playing out before them.

'What... the... hell... is... that?' Edrig gasped.

'Pole dancers,' said Adrig, quietly. 'Lady pole dancers.'

And they gazed, and gazed, for the human ladies were built rather similarly to their own, but about one third of the width and mass.

'So much less muscular than ours,' sighed Edrig. 'Such smooth skin. Incredible!'

'And such wonderful little breasts,' offered Adrig.

'Incredible...' they said together.


  1. Edrig and Adrig seem to have things in common with spiders. Interesting. And I did like the shift in the dominant gender between their culture, superior (in their minds at least) to our own.
    More please.

  2. Ah, more likely to come, EC.

    Commercial Break: If you like this you may enjoy Aileen the Alien too (see Sidebar)

  3. Aileen the Alien is a fascinating novella. And Aileen loves us, humans. It's a eBook which we can read on the computer.

    I'm waiting for the sequel...soon!
    And one can read the first chapter free on Amazon.